I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
