and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
