sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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