i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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