..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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