I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
