HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
