Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
