Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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