Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
