I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
MIDGETS
????
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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