I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
