Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
