i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
