sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
