It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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