1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
