Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
