It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
