Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
