Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize