I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
