Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
