I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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