Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
