Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
