So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize