Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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