yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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