check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
