Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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