somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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