Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
