we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize