Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
