your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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