He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
