I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My bed smells like the plague
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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