You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize