I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize