seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
