I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
