He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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