I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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