We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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