tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
