Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
