is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
