so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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