he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize