I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
