I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
