i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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