Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
