that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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