My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
