Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
