I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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