Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
