i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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