this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
