Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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