Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
