he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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