Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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