shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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