Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
