Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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