When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
