An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
