Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
