Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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