I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
