Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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